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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Fat2Fit#2: An Overview of Diet Pills.

So, in my epic journey to reach sexyness, I have accumulated a vast knowledge of many diets, exercises, and weight loss strategies. Apart from sharing progress and what works for me as an average Jane(with some extra pounds), I would also like to share my knowledge with you, the reader, so you may too be able to reach your sexy goal.
Today, I would like to talk to you about different types of diet pills I have tried.

1. Alli
Alli is an extremely popular diet pill, and one of the few that is FDA approved and also advocated by doctors. It's active ingredient, Xenacil(which is available in higher doses, by prescription), basically blocks fat absorption in the intestines and makes you shit it all out. So, it's a punishment system. The more fatty foods you eat, the more likely you are to get an oily stain on the back of your pants. You could conceivably achieve the same results on Alli without it, but it's easier to avoid nachos with the dirty prospect of crapping yourself looming in the back of your mind.

2. Fenphedra
Fenphedra uses a lot of faux medical jargon to advertise their product, which is essentially a "miracle pill" that gives you energy and suppresses your appetite. A quote from the Fenphedra website:
"The reason why you are overweight is because there is a YIN-YANG battle going on deep within your brain inside the satiety center of your hypothalamus. The battle is CART vs. NPY
or Good vs. Evil. *

CART is the “Good Guy”… and if you’re trying to lose weight it’s your Guardian Angel! The C stands for cocaine and the A for amphetamine because these drugs put this chemical into overdrive. When CART is stimulated it increases your metabolism, reduces your appetite, and increases insulin to deliver energy to your muscles rather than be stored as body fat.
NPY is the Villain. It’s a stress hormone that drives the eating chemicals into overdrive. When stimulated it will decrease your metabolism, cause your body temperature to drop, and increase your appetite.
FENPHEDRA was designed to stimulate CART and inhibit NPY, thus helping you win the battle of the bulge. (note: We found alternatives other than cocaine and amphetamine to activate CART)*"
Whatever. It's cocoa powder. Some people say they experience rapid heart beat and nausea while on the pill, my boyfriend tried it and certainly did. I, however, only felt a glorious suppression of appetite. Which was actually really helpful. As far as Fenphedra goes, you could get the same results if you just had some goddamn willpower. But if you don't, go for it. It's pretty damn expensive though. 70 bucks will get you a months supply. My gym only costs me 40.

3. Jillian Michael's 14 Day Cleanse and Burn
So, this is supposed to be a series of pills that jumpstart your weight loss on the Jillian Michael's system. The 1st seven day's of pills are "detox" pills the help bloat and shit (don't trust detoxes!!!). The next 7 are both probiotic replenishment, that help replace the bacteria in your intestines that the previous set of pills destroyed, and a "maximum strength fat burner". I, personally, thought these pills were a bunch of crap. They did absolutely nothing from me that I could notice. Jillian, stick to yelling at fatties.

Anyhow, these are three of the popular pills I have tried and my opinion on them. My personal favorite was Alli. It's more reputable, is more noticeably effective, and less expensive than Fenphedra. On the other hand, though... You really don't need diet pills. All it takes is a little willpower. But... If I have willpower, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. And if you, the reader who may be considering diet pills, had willpower, you likely wouldn't be either.
 I understand that I've only mentioned 3 types of diet pills here, and I didn't go very in depth on the different types. So, I shall link you to a good site for more info, should you desire it.
Here you go, niggas.
Now, for my personal progress. Since last month, I've only lost 4 pounds. However, since January I have lost 10.
What I've been doing: Not eating as much. lol Mostly, eating fruit and drinking coffee, and avoiding fast food like the plague. Also, I'm going to the gym a couple times a week.
Pictures? Yes yes. Weight: 167lbs
Yeah, I know these pics aren't that much different than the ones from last month, but look how much fatter I was on January(left).
My room is a hellhole. Don't judge me.

Anyhow, that's my progress thus far, next month, I'll be talking about different types of exercise.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things I Hate #1: Jersey Shore

Well, this is the start my official "things I hate" series. I started this on facebook a while back, and realized I completely stopped the series around 10. It was really popular over there, so I thought it would be popular here as well.
So, like I mentioned in the title, today I'm going to be talking about my immense hatred for Jersey Shore.
For those of you who aren't familiar, it's a show about a group of Oompa Loompas who have escaped from Willy Wonka's factory and are now partying it up in New Jersey.
Well, maybe the Oompa Loompa thing isn't exactly true. But I still want someone to come catch them and enslave them somewhere far, far away from the public eye.
Kill them, kill them all.
 All they do is glorify a lifestyle that is full of partying, drinking, fighting, and sluttiness. Need proof? Snooki, the token midget of the group, was in the news for "snookifying" a ten year old girl upon request. When asked about the possible moral issues with dressing the girl in resemblance to a VD cesspool, her response was, "you're never too young to look banging".
You're never too stupid to be on reality TV.
I could also go on and on about the exploits of the other female stars of this show, Jwoww and what the fuck is her name, Sammi? But you probably already get the idea. The women aren't the only ones who have serious tanning-related brain damage. One of these dudes on here calls himself the "Situation". Guess what he's referring to? I'll give you a hint. Something huge.
His ego.
Essentially, this group of droopy-eyed retards is everything that is wrong with society today. I know, it's fallacy to use broad stroke generalizations on generations, but come on. Each of these assholes makes more money than teachers, police officers, and since having their paycheck bumped up to 6 figures... More than some doctors. And, to be honest, I don't think it's really their fault. I think I'm more mad at a populace who is in love with this sort of shitbrained attitude and glamorizes the hell out of it, then the people on the show itself. Let's be honest, they were assholes before the show, and they'll be assholes when it's over. But we, as a society, feed the fire. Including myself, I know most of these guys' names and I've never even seen an episode. What does that tell you? If you're answer is "that I need a life", then you're probably right on that one. I'm really hoping that the popularity in this show is due to some novelty and that their fuckwitted exploits are all some form of satire... But that's what we have Charlie Sheen for, right?
Besides his excellent life advice, of course.

Anyhow, I read in the news somewhere that the next season of Jersey Shore is going to be somewhere in Italy. To quote the cast, they want "to pay tribute to the culture they know and love so dearly". I'm hoping the good people of Italy aren't as praising of sheer stupidity as a form of entertainment as we are and gives them the boot. Or, even better, they piss off a member of the mafia. Then they can get a taste of real Italian culture.
 Dead horses and all.
This would be justice.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Chicago School Bans Home Meals- Dumbasses.

Sorry, my dear blog, for I have been neglecting you.
Now, I come to you, loyal blog-viewers, with an honest question: What the FUCK is this bullshit?!
Chicago School Bans Homemade Lunches
"Students who attend Chicago's Little Village Academy public school get nothing but nutritional tough love during their lunch period each day. The students can either eat the cafeteria food--or go hungry."
I just recently graduated from high school, and I can honestly attest that NOTHING schools feed kids is healthy. Absolutely, positively nothing. Not the pizza. Not the chicken tenders. Not the fries. Not the burgers. This, my friends, is all about the money. The 2.25 per kid, per meal, can go a long way for school systems...
I honestly wasn't aware individual schools could ban homemade meals. Asshats.
Furthermore, and let me turn my rant mode on here: milk is not good for you. If we were meant to drink milk for our entire lives, I'd still be attached to my mother's teat. There is nothing healthy about milk. There is not any amount of protein, calcium, carbs, or fat in milk that you could not get from a healthier, less propaganda'd source. Not saying I hate milk. I love that shit with oreos.
But I can't stand it when people tout it as healthy. Because, in all reality, it's not.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Cindy Jackson- The Plastic Woman.

Cindy Jackson holds the world record for cosmetic procedures. 52 and counting.

So, what do you think? Does she look fake? Has she improved? Is plastic surgery becoming more socially acceptable and or attractive? Share in the comments below.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Happiest Careers in America

Biotechnology ranked the No. 1 happiest job in America, according to CareerBliss. "In biotech, the people that they work with, and more specifically the person that they work for, tends to rank higher in terms of importance, and employees are overwhelmingly happy with those conditions," says Golledge. Biotechnology employees were also among the most happy with their daily tasks and the level of control they feel they have over that work. She adds that the field of biotechnology is currently a growth industry, which makes growth opportunities in the field another key ingredient to its workers overall happiness.
Matt Miller, CTO of Career Bliss says he was surprised at the No. 2 career on the list, customer service. But a look into the employee responses sheds some light on what might otherwise be considered a thankless job. Miller points to customer service representatives' appreciation for the amount of control they have over their daily tasks and the ability to talk to people every day. "They also tend to value their coworkers more than most industries," he says.
In contrast with biotech, where employee-boss relationships were most highly valued, for education employees, who land at No. 3 on the list, the importance of the supervisor fell to the bottom. Teachers valued (in order of importance): the work that they do, the way that they work and the people they work with. Translation: educating children, control over their daily tasks and their fellow teachers. Other career paths included in the top 10 ranking are administrative, purchasing, accounting, finance, nonprofit, healthcare and law.

Guess I have to change my major now...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Fat2Fit: Post #1- The Intro

So, for the past few months I've been desperately trying to lose weight. Due to my impending enlistment in the US Navy, I have to achieve 32% bodyfat. Apparently, their standards are lower than a drunken, 30 year old virgin. However, I'm shooting for 20% Currently, I am 5'4, 170 pounds, with measurements of 13in(neck), 30in(waist) and 41in(hip). These are *my* measurements, I tend to suck it in as much as possible. By my measurements, I am 32%. However, I'm going to visit my recruiter on Monday, and if the Tape is kind I will be eligible for processing. My previous measurements were 13, 33, 43.
For my goals to be reached, my measurements would have to be: 13, 26, 36. Which places my loss-goal somewhere at -4in from my waist, and -5in from my hips.
I have counted calories, cut out different types of food, and exercised like a beast from Hell. 
This is an example of my week, for the past month or so:
Monday: Chest, Triceps, Abs
15 minute warmup of cardio of some sort, followed by thirty minutes of various chest, tricep and ab exercises. Flys, dips, and something called a pyramid burnout. This entails doing 35 crunches on the ab-lounge, then 30, 25, 20, 15 10, then 5.After that, 30-60 minutes of cardio. I usually die around 30.
Tuesday: An hour of various cardio exercises, I've grown fond of the spinning classes they offer at my local LA Fitness
Wednesday: Legs
15 minute warmup. Pretty much every variation of the squat you can think of: Regular, power, and the crazy one on the balance half-ball thing. Leg-Extendors(I call it a donkey kick machine), Abductors and Adductors. Trying to sit down to pee is torture after this exercise. Then another 30 minutes of cardio.
Thursday: More goddamn cardio. I hate that shit.
Friday: funfunfunfunfun Back and Biceps- also more Abs
Warm up,  followed by some row-type exercises, assisted pullups(I'm too much of a pussy to do the real ones yet), various curls and other torturous exercises for my arms. Then 30 more minutes of cardio. Fuck.

Anyhow, I'm sharing this with you because I've decided to make this a weekly post. I've been keeping track of my exercises in a book and will post them every Friday, along with a picture of myself so forth. 

Over the course of this blog-series, I will likely try to sample different diets, as I have yet to find the one that works best for me. From Monday, March 21st to Sunday, April 3rd, I am going to attempt the Lemonade Diet. I'm well aware that it isn't the best diet out there, but I'm trying to really kick this weight loss thing into high gear. So, be sure to check back to see how that goes.

Now, as I've promised: Pictures.
March 17th, 2011:

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Why Rosetta Stone Should Translate the Starbucks Menu

So, after my daily bout at the gym, I decided to stop at a neighboring Starbucks for something to drink. Normally I avoid Starbucks like the plague, for three very good reasons:
  1. I'm not a big coffee drinker. 
  2. They are extremely over-priced, and it hurts my soul to pay that much for coffee.
  3. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to order.
I mean, seriously. I'm so freaking intimidated by the whole process. You see a menu. The sizes are in crazy foreign names. People are ordering drinks that are not even on the menu. Half-caf? Non-fat? Soy milk? Chai? Latte? Espresso? Mocha? Frap? My head is spinning just thinking about it. Usually, I end up picking the most simple sounding thing on the menu, and going on my happy way with some drink I didn't really want, nor like.
The girl in front of me, with long hair and some crazy beaded, floor length Bohemian skirt, ordered a Chai, nonfat, dairy free mocha latte or some shit. I have a theory: The longer the name of your drink order, the more of a pretentious douchebag you appear to be.
I really feel like they should break it down into categories for us coffee illiterate folks, or maybe I should just stay away from Starbucks altogether.
So, I walk up to the cashier with a deer in the headlights look, and ask for a White Chocolate Mocha Frap. Grande.And let me attest:
That thing is fucking awesome.

(My reaction to the flavor.)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Gotta Catch 'Em All-Why I Love Pokemon

Yesterday, after being convinced by many of my peers that it was a good idea, I went to the local Gamestop and bought Pokemon Black. Let it be known that the most recent Pokemon game I've played is Crystal(Because Fire Red doesn't count), and after I stopped playing I completely fell out of Poke-circulation. I mean, when the hell were there 649 Pokemon? I stopped counting after Celebi. 

Needless to say, it wasn't hard for me to get back in the habit. I've logged about 10 hours into the game since having bought it 24 hours ago, and as soon as I finish tying this blog, I'll likely go log in another 10 more. It's like crack, man. 
Of course the newer games are a lot different for me. I'm completely ignorant  of every creature I've encountered thus far. I mean, when Professor Whosiewhatsit was all, "Here have a Pokemon", I had no idea who to pick. I ended up choosing Tepig. (kinda disappointed by that, but none of them really "spoke" to me, ya know). Also, in my opinion the gameplay is more difficult than in the previous games (Red-Crystal), such as with Pokemon strength and weakness. I mean, a level fifteen Sauk HAMMERED all 4 of my level 18 Pokemon. Hot damn.
Really though, I'm obsessed with this stupid game already. Just like when I was 10, leveling my Tyranitar to 100 with cloned rare candies.
There are really a lot of things I love about Pokemon. The nostalgia, the competitiveness(must catch all, must have highest level, must beat all gym leaders), the cute-as-shit Pokemon... But really, my favorite thing is that anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can play it. A ten year old, a college student, American, Japanese. Anyone.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go level up my Herdier.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011



If there's a way for me to read the blogs of my followers, I'm too dumb to figure it out. But, since you guys are kind enough to follow my posts, I'd love to follow you too. <3 KTHXBAI

My Experience With iDosing

iDoser, or binaural brainwave doses, are audio files that play different frequencies in either ear. Which, supposedly, causes your brain to produce some magical, hallucinogenic third frequency. 

A friend of mine told me about this "drug", and I was extremely excited to try it. I watched as each person did a dose, and had crazy experiences. My friend who downloaded the files tried Alcohol. He said he felt like a T rex and thought his arms were lazors. My boyfriend tried Victory, he spent the rest of the night in a sweating rage, placing first in every Black Ops match he played. Another guy we were with was petting the footrest next to him, and said "I love you too baby... We'll be together some day."
Needless to say, I was fucking ready to give this a shot.
I tried one. Nothing. I tried 2 more. Nada.
I went home, 2 more after that. No dice.
At this point, I'm just kinda pissed that I can't get the stupid crap to work. 

There's one iDose called "Hand of God" that is supposedly the end all, be all, of iDoses. That is the last one I'm going to try. In fact, I'm doing it tonight. I'll be sure to come back and update you guys on how it works for me, but at this stage in my iDoser study.... They're running 0/5. 
I wouldn't waste my money.

Monday, March 14, 2011

My First Post

Well, check this shit out.
I'm a fucking blogger now. Cool beans.
Essentially, I'm going to use this blog to share information. Mostly of the random variety. How to do this, tidbits of info about that. Reviews of whatever stupid endeavor I decide to undertake. Hell, I'll probably just come on here to bitch and moan about whoever wanted to piss me off.
You know, the usual.
I'm going to do my best to keep it interesting.