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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things I Hate #1: Jersey Shore

Well, this is the start my official "things I hate" series. I started this on facebook a while back, and realized I completely stopped the series around 10. It was really popular over there, so I thought it would be popular here as well.
So, like I mentioned in the title, today I'm going to be talking about my immense hatred for Jersey Shore.
For those of you who aren't familiar, it's a show about a group of Oompa Loompas who have escaped from Willy Wonka's factory and are now partying it up in New Jersey.
Well, maybe the Oompa Loompa thing isn't exactly true. But I still want someone to come catch them and enslave them somewhere far, far away from the public eye.
Kill them, kill them all.
 All they do is glorify a lifestyle that is full of partying, drinking, fighting, and sluttiness. Need proof? Snooki, the token midget of the group, was in the news for "snookifying" a ten year old girl upon request. When asked about the possible moral issues with dressing the girl in resemblance to a VD cesspool, her response was, "you're never too young to look banging".
You're never too stupid to be on reality TV.
I could also go on and on about the exploits of the other female stars of this show, Jwoww and what the fuck is her name, Sammi? But you probably already get the idea. The women aren't the only ones who have serious tanning-related brain damage. One of these dudes on here calls himself the "Situation". Guess what he's referring to? I'll give you a hint. Something huge.
His ego.
Essentially, this group of droopy-eyed retards is everything that is wrong with society today. I know, it's fallacy to use broad stroke generalizations on generations, but come on. Each of these assholes makes more money than teachers, police officers, and since having their paycheck bumped up to 6 figures... More than some doctors. And, to be honest, I don't think it's really their fault. I think I'm more mad at a populace who is in love with this sort of shitbrained attitude and glamorizes the hell out of it, then the people on the show itself. Let's be honest, they were assholes before the show, and they'll be assholes when it's over. But we, as a society, feed the fire. Including myself, I know most of these guys' names and I've never even seen an episode. What does that tell you? If you're answer is "that I need a life", then you're probably right on that one. I'm really hoping that the popularity in this show is due to some novelty and that their fuckwitted exploits are all some form of satire... But that's what we have Charlie Sheen for, right?
Besides his excellent life advice, of course.

Anyhow, I read in the news somewhere that the next season of Jersey Shore is going to be somewhere in Italy. To quote the cast, they want "to pay tribute to the culture they know and love so dearly". I'm hoping the good people of Italy aren't as praising of sheer stupidity as a form of entertainment as we are and gives them the boot. Or, even better, they piss off a member of the mafia. Then they can get a taste of real Italian culture.
 Dead horses and all.
This would be justice.


  1. If anyone likes this show..god help us.

  2. Lemmiwinks, thank you. I appreciate the love.
    Kingmush: I am so serious when I say that every night a new episode comes on, my facebook is flooded with "lol watching jersey shore<333" posts. Most of my friends are obsessed.

  3. great blog. nice theme and the pics were hilarious. look forward to more.

  4. Absolutely hate the Jersey Shore, it definitely shows that mankind is taking a turn for the worse.

  5. I hate jersy shore too. BUT it spawned a great south park episode.. so win some lose some