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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Fat2Fit#2: An Overview of Diet Pills.

So, in my epic journey to reach sexyness, I have accumulated a vast knowledge of many diets, exercises, and weight loss strategies. Apart from sharing progress and what works for me as an average Jane(with some extra pounds), I would also like to share my knowledge with you, the reader, so you may too be able to reach your sexy goal.
Today, I would like to talk to you about different types of diet pills I have tried.

1. Alli
Alli is an extremely popular diet pill, and one of the few that is FDA approved and also advocated by doctors. It's active ingredient, Xenacil(which is available in higher doses, by prescription), basically blocks fat absorption in the intestines and makes you shit it all out. So, it's a punishment system. The more fatty foods you eat, the more likely you are to get an oily stain on the back of your pants. You could conceivably achieve the same results on Alli without it, but it's easier to avoid nachos with the dirty prospect of crapping yourself looming in the back of your mind.

2. Fenphedra
Fenphedra uses a lot of faux medical jargon to advertise their product, which is essentially a "miracle pill" that gives you energy and suppresses your appetite. A quote from the Fenphedra website:
"The reason why you are overweight is because there is a YIN-YANG battle going on deep within your brain inside the satiety center of your hypothalamus. The battle is CART vs. NPY
or Good vs. Evil. *

CART is the “Good Guy”… and if you’re trying to lose weight it’s your Guardian Angel! The C stands for cocaine and the A for amphetamine because these drugs put this chemical into overdrive. When CART is stimulated it increases your metabolism, reduces your appetite, and increases insulin to deliver energy to your muscles rather than be stored as body fat.
NPY is the Villain. It’s a stress hormone that drives the eating chemicals into overdrive. When stimulated it will decrease your metabolism, cause your body temperature to drop, and increase your appetite.
FENPHEDRA was designed to stimulate CART and inhibit NPY, thus helping you win the battle of the bulge. (note: We found alternatives other than cocaine and amphetamine to activate CART)*"
Whatever. It's cocoa powder. Some people say they experience rapid heart beat and nausea while on the pill, my boyfriend tried it and certainly did. I, however, only felt a glorious suppression of appetite. Which was actually really helpful. As far as Fenphedra goes, you could get the same results if you just had some goddamn willpower. But if you don't, go for it. It's pretty damn expensive though. 70 bucks will get you a months supply. My gym only costs me 40.

3. Jillian Michael's 14 Day Cleanse and Burn
So, this is supposed to be a series of pills that jumpstart your weight loss on the Jillian Michael's system. The 1st seven day's of pills are "detox" pills the help bloat and shit (don't trust detoxes!!!). The next 7 are both probiotic replenishment, that help replace the bacteria in your intestines that the previous set of pills destroyed, and a "maximum strength fat burner". I, personally, thought these pills were a bunch of crap. They did absolutely nothing from me that I could notice. Jillian, stick to yelling at fatties.

Anyhow, these are three of the popular pills I have tried and my opinion on them. My personal favorite was Alli. It's more reputable, is more noticeably effective, and less expensive than Fenphedra. On the other hand, though... You really don't need diet pills. All it takes is a little willpower. But... If I have willpower, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. And if you, the reader who may be considering diet pills, had willpower, you likely wouldn't be either.
 I understand that I've only mentioned 3 types of diet pills here, and I didn't go very in depth on the different types. So, I shall link you to a good site for more info, should you desire it.
Here you go, niggas.
Now, for my personal progress. Since last month, I've only lost 4 pounds. However, since January I have lost 10.
What I've been doing: Not eating as much. lol Mostly, eating fruit and drinking coffee, and avoiding fast food like the plague. Also, I'm going to the gym a couple times a week.
Pictures? Yes yes. Weight: 167lbs
Yeah, I know these pics aren't that much different than the ones from last month, but look how much fatter I was on January(left).
My room is a hellhole. Don't judge me.

Anyhow, that's my progress thus far, next month, I'll be talking about different types of exercise.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things I Hate #1: Jersey Shore

Well, this is the start my official "things I hate" series. I started this on facebook a while back, and realized I completely stopped the series around 10. It was really popular over there, so I thought it would be popular here as well.
So, like I mentioned in the title, today I'm going to be talking about my immense hatred for Jersey Shore.
For those of you who aren't familiar, it's a show about a group of Oompa Loompas who have escaped from Willy Wonka's factory and are now partying it up in New Jersey.
Well, maybe the Oompa Loompa thing isn't exactly true. But I still want someone to come catch them and enslave them somewhere far, far away from the public eye.
Kill them, kill them all.
 All they do is glorify a lifestyle that is full of partying, drinking, fighting, and sluttiness. Need proof? Snooki, the token midget of the group, was in the news for "snookifying" a ten year old girl upon request. When asked about the possible moral issues with dressing the girl in resemblance to a VD cesspool, her response was, "you're never too young to look banging".
You're never too stupid to be on reality TV.
I could also go on and on about the exploits of the other female stars of this show, Jwoww and what the fuck is her name, Sammi? But you probably already get the idea. The women aren't the only ones who have serious tanning-related brain damage. One of these dudes on here calls himself the "Situation". Guess what he's referring to? I'll give you a hint. Something huge.
His ego.
Essentially, this group of droopy-eyed retards is everything that is wrong with society today. I know, it's fallacy to use broad stroke generalizations on generations, but come on. Each of these assholes makes more money than teachers, police officers, and since having their paycheck bumped up to 6 figures... More than some doctors. And, to be honest, I don't think it's really their fault. I think I'm more mad at a populace who is in love with this sort of shitbrained attitude and glamorizes the hell out of it, then the people on the show itself. Let's be honest, they were assholes before the show, and they'll be assholes when it's over. But we, as a society, feed the fire. Including myself, I know most of these guys' names and I've never even seen an episode. What does that tell you? If you're answer is "that I need a life", then you're probably right on that one. I'm really hoping that the popularity in this show is due to some novelty and that their fuckwitted exploits are all some form of satire... But that's what we have Charlie Sheen for, right?
Besides his excellent life advice, of course.

Anyhow, I read in the news somewhere that the next season of Jersey Shore is going to be somewhere in Italy. To quote the cast, they want "to pay tribute to the culture they know and love so dearly". I'm hoping the good people of Italy aren't as praising of sheer stupidity as a form of entertainment as we are and gives them the boot. Or, even better, they piss off a member of the mafia. Then they can get a taste of real Italian culture.
 Dead horses and all.
This would be justice.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Chicago School Bans Home Meals- Dumbasses.

Sorry, my dear blog, for I have been neglecting you.
Now, I come to you, loyal blog-viewers, with an honest question: What the FUCK is this bullshit?!
Chicago School Bans Homemade Lunches
"Students who attend Chicago's Little Village Academy public school get nothing but nutritional tough love during their lunch period each day. The students can either eat the cafeteria food--or go hungry."
I just recently graduated from high school, and I can honestly attest that NOTHING schools feed kids is healthy. Absolutely, positively nothing. Not the pizza. Not the chicken tenders. Not the fries. Not the burgers. This, my friends, is all about the money. The 2.25 per kid, per meal, can go a long way for school systems...
I honestly wasn't aware individual schools could ban homemade meals. Asshats.
Furthermore, and let me turn my rant mode on here: milk is not good for you. If we were meant to drink milk for our entire lives, I'd still be attached to my mother's teat. There is nothing healthy about milk. There is not any amount of protein, calcium, carbs, or fat in milk that you could not get from a healthier, less propaganda'd source. Not saying I hate milk. I love that shit with oreos.
But I can't stand it when people tout it as healthy. Because, in all reality, it's not.